My name is Deborah Alexander and I want to make a difference in the lives of people I care about especially in times of great loss.

I lose sight of this because talking about death is not easy.

I was brought back to this important way of being by my niece and nephew. It was the moment on the edge of the bed with the two of them staring into a closet after the death of their father, my brother. Without hesitation they knew the ONE shirt that held the most warmth and comfort for them.

We made pillows.

They hold and hug, bash and snuggle with the pillows. They move them around the house and even forget about them for a couple of days. They can talk and think about their dad while holding close happy memories.

~ from my grandfather’s Pendleton wool bathrobe, I made pillows
~ from my grandmother’s needlework, I made pillows
~ from my father’s paint stained flannel shirts, I made pillows
~ from my brother’s Rugby shirts, I made pillows

All these articles have been transformed into pillows, they tell a love story, they celebrate a life.

From the research of D.W. Winnicott, they become transitional objects helping us navigate a new world without a loved one whether from death or prolonged absence.

This is the gift of without-end, the gift of celebrating life.

Deborah Alexander